Catalogue

A N.E.W.T.-level Potions textbook. The printed text is unremarkable. The previous owner's handwriting in the margins is the entire plot of the sixth novel.

The Discworld's first newspaper, founded by a young man who wanted to write things down accurately and did not anticipate what that would cost.

Death keeps a library containing one book for every person who has ever lived or will live. Each writes itself, continuously, in real time, and stops mid-sentence.

Djelibeybi's guide to the afterlife, being a parody of the Egyptian Book of Going Forth by Day, adjusted for a civilisation with a relaxed attitude to punctuality.

A cloth-bound octavo bought from a Bible seller in Buenos Aires. It has infinite pages, none of which can ever be found twice.

A small brown book of the myths and legends of a dying Earth, carried across four volumes by a torturer who cannot forget anything he reads.

A standard Hogwarts textbook classifying the magical creatures of the world, and one of the few fictional books you can order tonight and have on your desk tomorrow.

Volume XI of a forty-volume encyclopaedia describing a planet that does not exist, in such completeness that the planet begins to.

An incoherent manuscript left by a Chinese governor who abandoned power to write a novel and build a labyrinth. His heirs found the novel unreadable and the labyrinth missing. They were the same object.

The standard history of the wizarding world, on every Hogwarts book list, and the first place Harry ever reads about himself.

An electronic guidebook in a plastic cover, more popular than the Encyclopaedia Galactica because it is slightly cheaper and has the words DON'T PANIC in large friendly letters on the cover.

A cookery book by Nanny Ogg, published anonymously as "A Lady", in which almost every recipe turns out to be about something other than food.

A hostile, opportunistic, extensively researched biography published within weeks of its subject's death. Almost everything in it is true, which is the problem.

One of several biographies of Paul Atreides written by the woman who married him, never shared his bed, and was left with nothing to do but write the official record.

A textbook that has to be restrained with a belt, attacks anyone who opens it, and can only be calmed by stroking the spine. Flourish and Blotts keeps the stock in a cage.

A twee picture book about a rabbit in trousers, found by a colony of newly intelligent rats, who take it for a description of how life could be.

The most famous book that does not exist. A grimoire of pre-human history and summoning rites, surviving in a handful of guarded copies, quoted just often enough to convince generations of readers it was real.

A directory of the gods and demons of the Discworld, giving their names, addresses and summoning rites. Its author preferred to be known as Achmed the I Just Get These Headaches.

The spellbook the Creator left behind after making the Discworld, containing the eight Great Spells. It is chained in the cellars of Unseen University, and it has opinions.

The composite scripture of the Imperium, assembled after the Butlerian Jihad from the surviving religions of humanity. Its central commandment is directed at machines.

A history of the game from the marshes of Queerditch to the modern professional leagues, borrowed from the Hogwarts library and never quite returned on time.

The genuinely lost second book of Aristotle's Poetics, dealing with comedy — reconstructed by Eco, hidden in a Benedictine library, and defended by a murderer who poisoned its pages.

The book that explains how to make a Horcrux, removed from the Hogwarts library by Dumbledore and kept in his office. Hermione steals it on the way out of the castle.

The holy book of Omnia, assembled from the words of seven prophets, and enforced by an Inquisition. The god it describes has not been consulted about any of it.

A book of dragon-summoning stolen from the Unseen University Library by a secret society, on the theory that a dragon would make an excellent political instrument.

A book of wizarding fairy tales left to Hermione Granger in Dumbledore's will. One of the five stories in it turns out to be the plot of the novel.

The register of Ankh-Morpork's noble families — their arms, their descent and their claims — and, in the hands of a policeman, a list of suspects.

A German study of surviving secret cults, printed in Düsseldorf in 1839. Its author was strangled six months later in a locked room, and the manuscript of his second book was torn to shreds.

A body of philosophy consisting entirely of the everyday sayings of an Ankh-Morpork landlady, revered by monks who have mistaken exasperation for enlightenment.

A picture book about a lost cow, read to a baby by the most dangerous man in Ankh-Morpork, at six o'clock, every single day, no matter what.